Guy's Step-by-Step Sex Guide Is the Horniest Thing Twitter's Ever Seen

nootens Published 07/08/2020 in Funny

Back in the day, young people learned about different sex maneuvers by having one slightly older friend who would pass on their own mismatched understanding of how sex worked. That was the only way you really ever learned about anything important.

Today's kids however have overly horny people who go on Twitter and TikTok to spout their own graphic advice. It's not much better than before but it's not exactly worse.

But for some reason, this one random guy's step-by-step descriptions of oral sex got a ton of attention and brought out people's irrational horniness in a way that no one was expecting.

Some of his details are a little too salacious to include here, but there's links to his original posts below.

So if you've ever wanted to read a stranger's thoughts on cunnilingus, fellatio, and anilingus, here's your chance.

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He started with the topic most guys following him would probably respond to. (see full thing here)
3.
4.
But his facts aren't entirely straight.
5.
6.
Genitals don't taste like candy, you say?
7.
He talks about cunnilingus like it's kung fu.
8.
Instantly the replies were overly aggressive.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
Eating booty came next. (full text available here)
17.
18.
Remember, no teeth!
19.
20.
Spelling the alphabet with your tongue?
21.
22.
"Extra dressing to your salad." OK.
23.
SpongeBooty.
24.
The section on fellatio was too graphic but you can read it here if you want.
25.
26.
The replies to this were particularly sus.
27.
28.
29.
30.
Feel free to take one of these and go look at some memes or something else now.

1.
2.
He started with the topic most guys following him would probably respond to. (see full thing here)
3.
4.
But his facts aren't entirely straight.
5.
6.
Genitals don't taste like candy, you say?
7.
He talks about cunnilingus like it's kung fu.
8.
Instantly the replies were overly aggressive.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
Eating booty came next. (full text available here)
17.
18.
Remember, no teeth!
19.
20.
Spelling the alphabet with your tongue?
21.
22.
"Extra dressing to your salad." OK.
23.
SpongeBooty.
24.
The section on fellatio was too graphic but you can read it here if you want.
25.
26.
The replies to this were particularly sus.
27.
28.
29.
30.
Feel free to take one of these and go look at some memes or something else now.